Dear Roxanne: Can Inga come running with me today? I think he likes me.

Dear Julie: No. Inga and I are lost in the woods right now. I need him to find our way home. He is sniffing the air, he can’t talk to you.
Dear Roxanne: Well, how about tomorrow? You don’t have to come with us, if you’re busy, I could just take him.
Dear Julie: No. He is a shy dog, and only likes me. Sorry.
Dear Roxanne: But, I miss him.
Dear Julie: I didn’t want to tell you this, but Inga hates you.
Dear Roxanne: That’ not true, Roxanne. Clearly you are jealous of Inga and me. We are just friends, I swear.
Dear Julie: I am happy to continue running with you, but please stop calling Inga. He has moved away. To a nice cabin in the woods, actually, which we are trying to find right now. Do not try to contact him. I’m taking his tracking collar off now.
Dear Roxanne: Fine.
Dear Julie: Fine.
Dear Roxanne: Can you still run Friday?
Dear Julie: Maybe. I’ll call you. But don’t call me, Inga gets agitated when he hears your voice.

Dear Roxanne: He does not. You’re being dramatic.
Dear Julie: I have to go now. You should go running with Luann. She seems nice.