This is not me. My hair is shorter. and much darker.

We aren’t buying snacks at the movie theater, I told the kids before we left for Pirates of the Caribbean. Too expensive, and we don’t need all that junk food.

I hardly ever eat sugar any more, since I started the Paleo Diet, so we have less junk food in the house. Sometimes the kids get good old fashioned candy when we’re out and about, on special occaisons. Or they walk down to the store and buy it with their own money.

I made the kids some hot, healthy, paleo friendly chicken sausages for breakfast, and then I went out and ran six miles, which is twice as far as I’ve run in weeks.

It took me forever to finish my run, probably because I kept stopping to wipe raindrops off my glasses and fiddle with Pandora on my phone to keep my playlist songs at the proper Chi Running cadence, and then I walked up the long hill home because I was zapped. I didn’t eat much that morning, or the night before, so I was low on fuel and slower than a slug.

Forgetting to eat and running out of fuel on long runs has happened to me a few times since I started eating Paleo a few months ago. I’m just never hungry. I know it sounds weird, but it’s true. I’ve kept off the 25 pounds I’ve lost since February, and it seems I’m starting to lose some more again, as I step up the exercise.

Since I was so slow, I was late getting back, and didn’t have time to eat much after the run before we left for the movie. I felt a little funky in the car. I started thinking about Peanut M&M’s, my candy snack of choice. I haven’t thought about Peanut M&M’s in about four months, but suddenly, I was craving them.

We got the tickets, and our cool 3D glasses and headed towards the theater. I noted there was no line at the concession stand. We passed it without a word. My kids are teens, they know no means no. They wouldn’t even try to resort to begging for candy after I say no ahead of time. But I couldn’t just buy myself candy without buying them some, right? And we just spend $35 on the movie. I was not going to spend another $20 on snacks. It wouldn’t be prudent.

And then I started crashing. Big time. If you’ve ever been low on fuel in general and carbs specifically after hard exercising, you may know how it feels. It’s different than just being hungry. It is different than having low blood sugar, when you feel a little tweaky and like a headache is approaching. Crashing feels like your blood sugar has left the building entirely, and your body starts panicking because it realizes it may have to eat your muscles right.then.and.there.just.to.stay.alive.because.my.god.you.might.actually.die.here.unless.someone.gets.you.food.this.instant.like.some.peanut nut.M&M’s.for.instance.

Also, your brain starts slurring words and forgetting letters.

Plus, your digestive track starts saying threatening things like, seriously, you won’t be sitting through a preview, let alone an entire movie, unless you get some sort of food in here, specifically Peanut M&M’s, so say goodbye to your little afternoon of gazing adoringly at Johnny Depp on the big screen, it ain’t gonna happen. Also, where’s the bathroom? You’ve got two minutes. Starting now.

I’ve learned to trust the digestive track. It’s embarrassing to talk about, I know. Sorry, but it’s reality. I’ve learned to obey it. My brain can’t override it.

I told the family I was going to the restroom and waved them off to the theater to save me a seat. Then I headed straight to to the concession stand and bought a pack of Peanut M&M’s for $3.75, using my debit card, since I was out of cash. Desperation knows no price. I would have paid 22% interest on that overpriced box of candy if I had to.

I felt a little like a diabetic on the edge when I tore open the box and poured half of it into the palm of my hand. I put the rest of the candy in my purse, and then quickly, efficiently ate the drug and washed it down with a long drink of water in an effort to try to appease my guilt over consuming the dreaded refined sugar that I knew was going to hit my bloodstream momentairly.

And hit me, it did. Oh.My.God. Those were the best Peanut M&M’s I’ve ever had in my life! Within one minute I felt myself coming back from the edge. There is no need to tell the children what has just happened, I reminded myself. Mommy needed her medicine.

By the time I got back to my seat, I knew I was going to be okay. And by the time I put on my 3D glasses and Johnny appeared on the big screen, I was back to normal.

I love Peanut M&M’s. I’ve always loved them. Especially when they save my life in the movie theater.